Bonjour! Mon ami! Tu Francois? No?
Hello! My Friend! You English? Yes! Good, good! Welcome to Morocco!
Come with me, my friend. You go to lunch? Okay, I come with you, I show you good place.

You almost finished? So much to see. Good, good, come with me, my friend!

How long you enjoy our beautiful city Tangier? 2 nights? Oh no, my friend, you must stay longer. You will see. We are all so happy you are here. Moroccan people good people. You see? You should feel very comfortable. Everyone is here to help!

Yes, come, see our city.
This is beautiful town square. All come here. Come, come, so much to see, please. This is meat delivery truck. No refrigeration, you ask? The meat is so fresh, there is no need for refrigeration. Oh, yes, carrying the meat upon his shoulder through the square is very okay, very clean. You want buy some? No, okay, maybe later?

This is town market. Everything very fresh, you see? The smell? Haha, yes, very 'fishy.' Much fresh fish. This my friend Ibrahim, he has the best. You want, he give you good deal. Best deal. No? Again? Okay, later my friend. We have much to see.

I take you to the peak. On good day, you can see Spain, my friend.
We go through the alleys. Very Moroccan. You see the architecture. Very close, very windy. One could get lost very easy, my friend. But I will show you where to go.
What? Oh yes, that is hashish. Everyone smoke hashish in Tangier. You see, he is here, not hiding. Very comfortable, very easy. I show you.
This is famous tea house, you know this picture. Yes, that is Rolling Stones, McJagger. He was here and he smoke hashish too. Very comfortable... But come, come.

Here is the peak, very beautiful is it not?
What? Did he throw his trash down the hill? Yes, come, come I show you museum.
Please, my friend come.
The whole hill? Covered in trash, you say? I don't know. I will check, but not now, my friend.

Here is rug store. You ever see so many quality rugs? This store go on forever, here is my friend Jalahel. He bring you tea and show you rugs...

Where did I go? What do you mean, my friend? Trapped in the rug store for 30 minutes? I am so sorry, my friend. They blocked the exits? I am so sorry, my friend. I will speak with Jalahel. But I see you got a beautiful rug. That is good my friend. Moroccan rugs are best rugs.

You like kitties, my friend. Tangier has many kitties. They are so friendly. They help with your meal. They wash your plate. Very good.

Well, my friend. That is Tangier. Your feet must be very tired. I show you beautiful hotel. Rembrandt hotel! Very comfortable. Pool, bar, beds, you do comfortable things. Smoke your hashish? What? Very comfortable, I said. You like to smoke? Okay, okay, my friend. No problem. You are good person my friend. You come to my house for dinner tonight. You meet my woman and my daughter. They are both very fine cooks. They make you very fine Moroccan meal! What is there to think about? You are here to experience Morocco, are you not? Okay, I give you my number, you call when you are ready, okay?

Wait, wait, my friend, where are you going?
I show you my whole city, I spend my whole day with you.
You have no money? My friend, I am not a fool. Do you think I am a fool? Do you come to my country? My land? And mock me? My people? You come here and you disrespect us?
I call the police. Why? Because you have hashish. You don't? Then I put hashish on you, my friend. You go away long time.
You come to my land and think you can fool me. I fuck you! Now give me my money!