This piece of cinematic terrorism is a 90 minute shit storm that chronicles some douche bags quest to find his German pen pal of sexual interest and pretty much rail her.  Add a touch of sarcastic horny ignorant dick-hole American best friend, a dash of underdeveloped horny hot chick and her abrasively nerdy twin brother and all the horribly uncreative stereotypes of Europeans you can imagine and what you are left with is a molested retina and sense of entitlement to burn an American flag.  As if you couldn’t guess it, douche bag bangs German girl in the Vatican (totally fucking illegal), sarcastic horny ignorant dick-hole American best friend and underdeveloped horny hot chick hook up on the plane back to the states (again totally fucking illegal), but not before underdeveloped horny hot chick sucks some serious face with her abrasively nerdy twin brother at a night club (devastatingly illegal).  That’s right, incest.  I would rather make the beer can I just crushed in-between my massive pecs disappear using only my anus and a tub of Vaseline than go to town on my sister the way this related duo does in the movie (no offense Amy, just the immediate blood relative thing is a little too disconcerting and I am sure you would agree). 

Warning: You should read this first as the last paragraph contains spoilers

In addition, this movie did something which I didn’t think was possible and that is making stereotyping people unfunny.  HOLY SHIT!! WTF?!?! &#*$@^!  Anybody who knows me knows that if there are two things that I fucking love in this world more than anything else and that is stereotyping and my copy of Alanis Morissettes Jagged Little Pill (the raw emotion and unrelenting angst with which she sings and the production quality make for a stunning bit of auditory enchantment).

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See what I am talking about, these pictures I drew in my spare time show how my mind operates on a very basic level.  Stereotyping is like mental masturbation for me but Euro Trip impressively even manages to fuck this up. 

I bet a couple of the more mentally adept readers of this review are thinking, “Jeez Dan, you are really smart, creative, original, and your genitals have a nice bouquet.  How would you make this movie better”  I am glad you asked, and this is how:

1.  Replace the entire cast with me and a camera strapped to my forehead
2.  The first part of the film would consist of me jetting to various parts of Italy bashing fascists and proclaiming pizza as a uniquely American creation.  It would then cut to me in France sporting some savage mutton chops and wearing my American print hammer pants spitting on the Eiffel Tower.  Transition to me in Morocco as a tribute to irony. 
3.  During the second part of the movie I would place a tiny hidden camera in the tip of my urethra (I am devoted to my craft) and travel to the Nordic regions.  The next 30 minutes would be an exploration of the tonsils of every hot Scandinavian chick who crosses my path set to Orff’s “Carmina Burana” on loop.
4.  Finally, there would be a cameo by the Big Tymers in the Netherlands in which we will be, “coming through your hood [most likely Amsterdam], disrepectin’ ya’ll [Dutch citizenry], bass turnt up loud, knocking bitches off the wall.”