I'm pretty sure I'm committing some sort of blasphemy, but here it goes: I did not enjoy Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof. I know, I'm shocked too. Judging from what I'm hearing from every single review written about this movie, I'm all alone here too. I thought Rodriguez's Planet Terror was exactly the sort of blood spattered romp that I wanted out of Grindhouse and that Death Proof just went on and on and on with the most repetitive and anti-climactic drollery possible. From what I hear on the streets, some people agree with me. However, I don't think there is a single reviewer in the world that does. They all thought Rodriguez's piece was a piece of shit and that Tarantino's is another mark in the film history textbooks.

Unfortunately, I know very little of the Grindhouse tradition. Maybe Tarantino was more on the mark in creating a tribute piece and I just don't know any better. However, what I can gather from what I've learned is that Grindhouse films were composed of unending ridiculous violence and scenarios that came straight out of a lunatics acid trip. This is the essence of Planet Terror. Every scene in this film is filled with the most colorful yet shallow characters in scenes that continue to top each other in their vision of debauchery and bloodshed. The actors all do an excellent job of showing an extreme interest in their character's life and spout the lines with the pompous declaration of the terrible writing. After a while, I found myself trying to follow the story line of how the virus was made and then released upon the citizenry. Then I realized that that was a pretty useless thing to try and do. The point of this movie is to sit, watch and let the drool just fall off your chin. This movie was not made to be analyzed. Rodriguez does try to give reason to the madness, but it is lost within the zeal of his directing and all your left with is that it somehow came from Iraq. Nice scapegoat.

Let me say what is good about Death Proof before I start making enemies here. Kurt Russell is perfectly cast and is the most entertaining character I've seen on screen all year... until the final scenes. When there is action in this film, it is good. Let me rephrase, when there is aspects of horror to this horror film, it is superb. There are some crazy deaths portrayed that betray the cheesy 'grindhouse' tradition that the film is supposed to follow. The long car chase at the end is not as good as every reviewer in the world says it is. I love cars. I drive a classic car. I definitely got a kick out of that aspect, but there was nothing innovative or inspiring about this car chase. The same thing kept happening over and over again while the heroines kept screaming the same thing over and over again. Kurt Russell's character also becomes a completely different person here and makes the whole thing that much more anti-climactic. When car chases aren't occurring, we are listening to a gaggle of beautiful women gossip endlessly. I have always been a big fan of Tarantino's God-like ability to write dialogue, but it doesn't transcend to the characters in this film. There are two different sets of girls in the filmspace. The first group is pretty entertaining, but that is probably because Kurt Russell's presence is there. The second set of girls are a bore. I didn't care what they were talking about after the first 10 minutes of hearing them. Sure the dialogue helps build up their individual characters, but it doesn't draw the viewer in and make them truly relatable.

I'm going to stop there, because I don't like committing this blasphemy. Me and my friend left the theater very disappointed, but we rationalized it by remembering the title of the film; Grindhouse. This isn't supposed to be one of those films in Tarantino's biography that defines his vision. It is a quick joke that he and Rodriguez put together simply to entertain. I like to think they did it to help change the current market of horror films out there. Hopefully it does. Hopefully Eli Roth makes Thanksgiving into a feature.