I'll begin by saying that I recently rewatched the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Reviews are not good enough for those films. They are monumental. A testament to what can be achieved, not only by film, but by humanity. A truly fantastic, in all senses of the word, rendering, of the novels. I hold Peter Jackson in great regard for what he did.

With that said, I didn't want to see the Lovely Bones. But I had been making my girlfriend see mediocre action films week after week and it was time we saw something a little more stimulating. I didn't want to see it because the trailer made it look like it was all flash and no substance. But I don't mind a little flash and the promise of great special effects from the likes of Peter Jackson was enough to make me not think twice when the film was oferred.

The special effects you see in the trailer are about all there were in the film. They were visionary in their conception, but they really felt like they were just fleeting across the screen and in other instances parading there in front of you to try and take your mind off the story.

The story was heavy in all respects. Gruesome really. It weaved in and out of the 'in-between' where a young girl presided after her grisly murder and the somber household of her grieving family. But as heavy as the subject matter was, the film was as dry as a community college commencement address. I love Mark Wahlberg, but I was not excited about anything he did in The Lovely Bones. And by the end, when you're wishing it would just end, you see a long montage of horribly mutilated bodies of young girls. And where the body of the 'protagonist' ends up will really make you question if you really saw what you just saw. Because what you just saw was built up to for about 5 minutes in a vomit of slow-motion emotion. And the 'happy ending' they try to pan off at the end just makes it all feel silly.

Throughout the movie the protagonist is escorted through the in-between by a spiritual asian little-girl sidekick. The best lines in the movie occur when the protagonist is about to leave the in-between...

SALMON GIRL: I think I'm ready...
ASIAN GIRL: Then come on!
SALMON GIRL: It's so beautiful...
ASIAN GIRL: Of course it's beautiful, it's Heaven!!!

ugh.